If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
