the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
