i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
