Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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