think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
