I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
