Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish my penis had an off switch
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
