Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
