We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
