Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
