I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize