we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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