You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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