My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize