plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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