we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize