does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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