This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I enjoy the company of your penis
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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