You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You ate ashes out of my bong
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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