yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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