I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
