do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize