Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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