what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
