I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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