alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm both gender and math confused
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
