OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
