god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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