I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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