Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize