idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize