K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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