I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
