the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
