What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize