I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
