how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Found your dick twin last night
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
