i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
