I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
