hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
