I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
