ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Nobody cheats on THIS.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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