Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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