i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
