Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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