found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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