these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
