Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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