Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Life is so much better after having sex.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize