his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's blow job season.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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