Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just found a bag of teeth...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
