i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
