how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
