Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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