You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
