doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
