What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
