I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
