The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
