38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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