you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
