We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
