i jhust puked up my retainher.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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