Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
