The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
