just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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