the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
