But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
