She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
