i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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